I was reminded recently of a time in my life that, looking back, feels like a bad dream, such a distant memory that it's hard to believe that at one stage it was even a part of my reality.
Growing up I spent a lot of time sick, often with chest infections.
It became a bit of a running joke in the family that I would be sick for my birthday, it was almost like clockwork.
I was frequently on antibiotics and lived in fear that any excessive use of my energy would lead to burnout. I tried everything I could think of to try to combat it. Unfortunately back then my tool kit was far less comprehensive.
Crunch time came when I moved to Sydney, I was 27 and had recently moved over from New Zealand to work as a product designer for a well-known agency. I was living in a hostel and had been doing so for about 3 months. Not an environment conducive to healthy living, but due to the uncertainties around my job security I hadn't wanted to commit to a houseshare.
At 3 months in, I got the sickest I'd been in a long time. I was just short of being hospitalised for pneumonia, and recovery was slow. I decided that I needed to get out of that 10-bed hostel room and find my own space.
I stumbled across an ad on Gumtree, a local seller's website, there was a room available locally, for a good price, but no photos. I was nervous, as there were some real dumps in Sydney, but I pushed that aside and took a chance. The house was with 3 girls of similar age to me from Byron Bay. We all hit it off instantly. The house was perfect, a great location in Surry Hills, and the energy there was so peaceful. Down a quiet street laced with enormous green Oaks.
After a few weeks, one of the girls mentioned she had been seeing a kinesiologist, I had never heard of the modality but asked if she thought it might help with my asthma and constant illnesses.
By this stage, I had really begun to hate my body and its weakness. Every over-exertion of energy brought fear of burnout, even exercising would often lead to crashes. One moment I was fit and healthy, and hours later I was bedridden and would be stuck there with fevers for days on end.
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams
Kinesiology was my first experience with energy medicine. It works closely with the body-mind system, using muscle testing, affirmations and visualisation. Each session we would focus on an organ, a particular limiting belief or memory and go back to the source of each issue, often in early childhood and rewrite the story. This is putting it very simply, the work my kinesiologist did was phenomenal. After about 18 months of sessions, things had changed immensely. I quit my stressful job and decided to test my newfound immune system and trust in my body by travelling Asia for 6 months. Aside from the occasional cough, and a few bouts of food poisoning my body handled the experience amazingly. It's been 6 years since that trip and I have only been to the doctor once (dehydration while walking the Camino de Santiago causing a blocked gland).
Upon returning from that trip to Asia my body went into a deep state of purging, there were weeks on end where I had to sleep on a towel because every night I would wake up with my bed soaked in sweat. At the time it was concerning, but looking back I can see that it was my body ridding itself of whatever virus was still left in my system.
That time working with a kinesiologist really set me off on my spiritual/healing journey. Since then I've tried all sorts, and it wasn't until I found breathwork that I discovered a system that I was just as passionate about and which had an equally as powerful effect as Kinesiology.
Breathwork helped me reclaim my sovereignty in my healing journey. I was no longer requiring someone else to “fix” me. And even the daily practice alone has helped me to shift any new stresses or tensions in my body as they arise.
It's crazy to look back and see how much my reality has changed since I took those initial steps to work through that trapped emotion (energy-in-motion) in my body. I no longer fear excerting energy, and that my body wont be able to handle it, which is so liberating. Since I discovered beathwork my life has become more expansive, and liberating, and I feel like I’m truly living, not just existing.
If you wish to try Owaken Breathwork's app, here is a 30 day free trial.
Or feel free to reach out if youre interested in working with me.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
― Oscar Wilde